Highly impressed by your recent article on the Huffington Post, ‘Why I Don’t Sleep With White Guys.” You will no doubt receive some terrible comments/feedback from angry white guys if I had to guess, but don’t take heed to that shit. Perhaps there is some truth to Ms. Hooks hypothesis viz-a-viz white dudes wanting to have sex with black chicks, but I do not believe this to be a sufficiently holistic explanation. Men wishing to “possess” Woman sexually is the overlying issue, but the white guy/black girl topic is quite interesting and resonates on a personal level.
I would first like to seek further clarification on one point: are Jewish men included on the sexual blacklist? Although they are technically Caucasian, there are those who classify Jews as a racial entity of their own. I have heard quasi-liberal rabbis defend the position that Jews are white, but I believe this to be merely a coping mechanism, a way of negating the Nazi view of the racial-Jew and a politically-correct fallacy. Maybe I am wrong.
As an adolescent, I was attracted most to the black girls in my school and even white girls who emulated black culture (I attended a public high school in an affluent area, where racism was prevalent and blacks were a minority, typically inhabiting a lower socioeconomic strata). Your article has thus caused me to examine the possible root of my attraction to coloured women as someone who is “on the fence” racially.
Could it be true that it has to do with the not-so-noble psychological factors enumerated in your article? Conversely, could my attraction have to do with the fact that the Jewish and black people have both suffered at the behest of the same villains and therefore lies in the solidarity engendered by mutual sufferation? On the other hand, could a white man’s desire to sleep with a black woman be a misguided attempt to protect her, as a result of the guilt he carries for the crimes of his ancestors?
On paper I am a Caucasian male human, but one who nevertheless honors the Divine Feminine; so being attracted to black women cannot be explained solely by a basic sexual/psychological imbalance or racial bias. Hypothesis #1: the original Homosapien woman (Mother) comes from Africa, so there is some unseen Oedipal force driving white men to want to have sex with coloured women. Along these lines…
We live in an un-ritualized technocratic society that lacks spirituality, love of Nature and a sense of tribal belonging. Whether you are white, black or otherwise, your ancestors at one point lived closely to Mother Earth and in a ritual context (compared to those of European origin, black people are only more recently “civilized”). It is quite likely that society’s ills are a result of our biological desire to return to a more humane way of living, but not knowing how.
Hypothesis #2: [Perhaps unknown] to the white man, the black woman comes off as Woman in her more natural form and his desire to possess Her sexually is thus due to his unconscious longing for a more spiritually-oriented lifestyle full of dancing, drumming, etc. But society has not equipped him with the means to express any of this, so he skeezes up to you at the bar and you just see him for the asshole that he is.
Even if people don’t like it or believe it. I’ve had similar experiences to you. We used to make fun of the kind of guys you described as “exotic chasers”. Unfortunately sometimes it’s the “chasers” who home in on you disproportionately as a woman of colour (and not for the right reasons). Thankfully they’re not the only guys (of any colour) out there but you’re right, that behaviour and thinking doesn’t happen in a societal vacuum. It’s complicated though - at university I knew people who started dating largely out of mutual curiosity to see what it was like being with someone racially different to themselves. Both sides knew and were OK with it. Finding all of our way out of all the baggage of history that sticks to us…
Hello I think your huffington post article has a lot of white men and pissed black women who date white men off. Lol I’m trying to defend you but wow they are very angry at you.
I love how your blog goes into the socio-cultural aspects of being mixed! My mom's family is from Puerto Rico: mixed Taino, African, Spanish, and Chinese; and my dad is African-American and Cape Verdean. I love learning about my cultural heritages, but I'm thinking of taking a genealogy test to finally have a concise answer to my "what am I". My mom feels that I don't trust what she told me about my heritage ( the story changes a little every time). How can I explain what this test means to me?
I think that you are absolutely in your own right for wanting to take the test- you want to find out more, and you shouldn’t be sorry for that. As we get older, I feel that no matter what people tell us, we like to find out for ourselves and explore new questions and ideas that our parents may have not forseen or shared with us. It’s like walking into a dark room and trying to navigate in a situation like yours- my mom tells me my dad is Jamaican and Chinese but doesn’t know what percentage and from what parts of those places. It’s frustrating that I have no ways of finding out (we’re estranged) and if I could, I would definitely.
Try telling your mom that it would mean a lot to you and your identity if you could accurately find out your heritage. Tell her nicely that while you appreciate that she had provided you with all the info you need, you still feel that something’s missing- you want to be able to access and understand all parts of your heritage (their customs, cultures, histories) in order to become a more informed individual and find out more about yourself. She should understand that. I’m sure at one point, she felt the same way :)
Good luck with your mom, I’m sure she’ll understand!
I have written a post on a friend’s website that has gotten noticed and picked up by the Huffington Post. This is a HUGE success for me that I am both terrified about and very grateful about. My decision to give permission to the Huffington Post was very scary, because not only is it my first real published article, but it is also a very private piece about my personal life. However, one of my goals is to help other women through my writing, by exposing the truth about race, sex and gender- nothing fictitious or candy coated- even if many don’t agree with it.
The controversy (which has grown from 6 to about 250 comments) is split- with many loving it and others completely hating it. This hate is coming from those that the article means to speak to. If men who do see coloured women as “to do lists” (or white men) are being offended or are beginning to think twice about their behaviour, I have done my job.
Please read it if you have time, I’d love your support whether you do or do not enjoy the article.
Thanks for being amazing followers, I owe my courage to you all!
It seems like many people who are seemingly ecstatic about Zimmerman being found innocent are justifying his actions by “blaming” Trayvon for fighting back or provoking him. But I wonder how many people would feel the same way if their brother or son was being profiled and subsequently killed. Has anyone seen those crime scene photos of Trayvon’s body? How can a grown man do that to a child? I will always be haunted by that heart-wrenching photo of racial injustice.
Many justified Zimmerman’s actions as “appropriate” according to the law without even a hiccup of human compassion. But we should know by now that the law is man made, and even then it is made by racially, socially, and economically privileged men. We should also know that laws are not always just or right. And for this reason, I am disappointed that my Facebook page is flooded with emotionless, angry comments that side with a legal system that we know is corrupt.
There is a huge racial split in this case. While the media has made this more tormenting and fiery than necessary, it is evident through many mock jury trials and interviews that many African-American people believed that Zimmerman was guilty, while many non-African American people justified Zimmerman’s actions under the law. What this says about America is that 1) Racism is still evident 2) Compassion for other people and races has yet to be established whole-heartedly 3) This case IS about race. What I found by watching was that non-African American people really tried their best to blame Trayvon’s actions for causing his own death while staying hum on Zimmerman’s comments to the cops about “assholes” and “punks” before shooting this young boy after being instructed NOT to approach him. The Stand Your Ground Law didn’t begin when Trayvon defended himself. It began when Zimmerman had already decided to racially profile the boy in the Hoodie and stop him from committing some crime he hadn’t committed. He chose to assume, because of Trayvon’s race and clothing, that he was dangerous. But he was only armed with a bag of Skittles. Defending yourself against someone who is following you is not GROUNDS to shoot someone- what should Trayvon have done?
Let’s not kid ourselves and say this wasn’t about race. Anyone who has or knows someone who has experienced racism or discrimination knows that those who haven’t or are ignorant to it are just trying to convince themselves that the world has actually become a better place. Racism doesn’t have to be “proven” to determine it exists.
I bet Zimmerman would have a better chance at jail time if he vandalized a car.
Rest in peace, Trayvon. Wherever you are, I hope it’s a better world than ours.